Communication Breakdown

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Cheyenne apologises for not pontificating on our great win last week, but his Stone Age ADSL teepee internet connection has been down all week. I have read the wind and collected all your trancendental thoughts and I have to say I agree - Malthouse is the doyen of control freaks and yes, I too felt sorry for his staff on the bench when he went down to interrogate them 6 minutes before 3/4 time.

In particular, poor Brad Green, who has been victimised...

Cheyenne has changed over the years, and his attitude to footy is no exception. From 2004, when Guerra couldn’t get his non-preferred boot to the ball in the goalsquare against Port (leading them to their first flag), to our sad defeat in the elimination final in 2011, we Sainters have all watched every game with the overall goal of the Grand Final in mind.

The natural, certain and understandable falloff in intensity that is being displayed by Milney, Dal, Goddard (before...

Cheyenne apologises for the late missive, but coming home from NZ on my home-made Kon Tiki by hitching a ride behind the superfast SS PEPTIDE meant that I only got back this morning. I was so lucky that Cap’n Dank sources his peptides and steroids from Wellington - the Wellington Mob Bikie headquarters, to be precise. That crazy Cap’n Dank - it was like he was a truck driver on speed the way he rode the Tasman current back to Port Phillip Bay. We moored at shed 9 Docklands an hour...

STK v ESS Rd 4

Cheyenne left the Spaceship cursing the Sainter selectors for leaving us embarrassed for big man strength. I’m sure if you asked a 21 year old Lenny what he thought he’d be doing when he reached 33 years, then going up against Bellchambers or Hille for boundary ruck contests wouldn’t be on his radar. Even after they lost their CHForward we still looked like midgets.


Deciding to hold fire, that there must have been a reason for not picking Hickey, Cheyenne...

SEAFORD MARINARA



Cheyenne has made his first expedition to the Linen House Centre at Seaford, and has liked what he saw.

Driving past St.Kilda the old misgivings (“why did we ever leave the Junction Oval?”) arose, then again as Moorabin was passed, till finally the LHC at Seaford was reached. Advice from Club Headquarters along the lines of “There’s no parking, so it’s best to come for the match and family day by public transport” immediately sent the mind...

Cheyenne has for several years marveled at the way the AFL controls our sound inputs whilst at the AFL venues. Whether we like it or not, our ears are assaulted with absolute rubbish before, during and after the game. Exhibit 1 - Meatloaf. Exhibit 2 - Most of the bands that play at half time - though not because the bands are crap, the SOUND is crap. Mankind has conquered many things, but sound ain't one of them. So I suppose we can forgive the AFL a teensy bit.

...

Cheyenne has been struck dumb for 3 weeks - since he realised that ‘Big Brother’ was back. I was under the impression that Mankind was evolving intellectually. OK, I realise it’s a slow process, but why put society through ‘Big Brother’ again? How many players, after experiencing the horror of dropping into the hole in front of Plugger (think Peter Caven), and being smashed and mutilated . . . how many did it a second time? None. Because even Kenny Hunter wouldn’t be that stupid. ...

The big semi-trailer is panting steam in the cold morning air as it waits outside the Saints’ old spiritual home - The Junction Oval, St.Kilda. One by one the Sainter warriors emerge from their warm, new vehicles, only to be herded up the ramps of the semi. 25 of them squashed together, preparing for their gruesome drive up the Hume and Pacific Highways to The Gabbotoir, in central Brisbane. As they pass Seymour, young rookee Sam Dunell asks his skipper Nick Riewoldt to tell him about what’s h...

Gina Rinehart has made an offer that couldn't be refused for the GOD Particle - rumoured to be several billion dollars - and upon delivery has immediately injected it. The GOD acronym has now been given several possible meanings by Cheyenne - “Gina Of Death”, “Gina Owns Daworld”, “Gina Our Digger” and “Governess Of Doom”. Please send your feedback if one tickles...

CHEYENNE SEEKS POLITICAL ASYLUM IN MOORABIN TOWN HALL

Cheyenne - Saints Round 13



Cheyenne has just walked into the Moorabin Town Hall to seek asylum from the US as a political asylum seeker. First - the background. Last February, No 1 draft pick Jonathon Patton was sent to Sweden for major knee surgery. At least that’s what the football public were told. In fact, Big Jon, who is a close relative of former US General George Patton, was being infiltrated by...