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A guy not so long ago told me to lose the single mum shtick whatever the fuck that’s meant to mean and I know you’re all probably fed up with seeing my babies blossom into little beauties but I can tell you I wear my battles proudly and without fear of being judged, Im a lioness. I am a woman about town with all the trimmings of a renaissance girl, don’t get me wrong but raising girls as a single parent is messy at times and always my biggest joy, heartbreaking and an experience unlike no other, one that is unique and that’s why I have never shied away from the subject publicly. Having to relate to a 6,7,9 and almost 11 year old on a daily basis is out of control.
Sometime this year I awoken from the fact that I was a real life digital muse to a rather brilliant writer based in Manhattan, yes the other side of the planet, a troubled soul but a beautiful beautiful artist, it was quite traumatic knowing that we were not going to live happily ever in grotto bliss because to be honest as a couple I think he described us the best ‘train wreak’ yup NYC subway style, the Aussie rail is a much smoother ride I can assure you. Hah. And life goes on, my realisations were more about processing lost chance, unrequited love, re-packaging a blown mind to define myself after a homecoming in 2013 that left me somewhat perplexed, NOT queen. Being able to move forward with life healthier, independent and healed was my greatest achievement of 2014! You know what they say about adversity? It’s TRUTH!
So with a blank space (said tongue in cheek with a devilish smile) back on the dating scene this year I can’t say I’m a Tinder expert, yet but with the ease of a swipe to meeting some fabulous men for coffee and lunch has been fun and I’ve rediscovered my city like never before and that other martian species known as MAN, they come in all shapes and sizes and even styles, colours and sounds as my bestie will confirm after being grunted at my a testosterone beast at the DVD vending machine last night. Don’t bother seeing Sex Tape, it’s ridiculous.
But it’s quite amazing sitting opposite listening to them and I am sometimes a little analytic and overwhelmed by the fascinating creatures they ALL are. It sure has taught me more about what i don’t want in a relationship and after 13 years marriage I’m actually loving single life now, I’d like to fall in love someday but this time take my brain with me. The spark has eluded me thus far but I really believe 2014 was about healing ME, grateful I took that time and I’m feeling sparkly in myself this last month. Im in love with LIFE.
I’ve a great circle of friends who keep me inspired and business is absolutely rocking to the beat and we haven’t even launched our NEXT BIG THING!
I’m planning to take over the world but will be happy just to continue to live day to day and experience all the enchantment of the journey. Gosh I hate using that word since Anna Wintour put the moss on it recently but its not just a “fashion journey” although fashion is one of my habits, we are allowed two right? Come on life is a catwalk, they are going to stare, make it worth their while! Yes you’re not the only one that can strut and who doesn’t love a selfie?!
Mostly Im a spandex and hoodie type girl at home and office, I love to dress up but power suits and tailored aint quite me, this last week I decided to wear heels everyday and I think I liked it! I love couture and street style, two contradicted worlds that Gaultier so sublimely merged in his delectable exhibit at NGV earlier this year! Ive a boho heart and a German drive, although I don’t enjoy driving, I'm a passenger for sure and just love that auto-drive button. Swap my stilettos for high tops in the blink of an eye!
Today drinking coffee at Rococo in Hawthorn I was discussing how children don’t experience life through the filter of memory and when I explained how Im able to dissociate through practice (zen) from the emotional content related to memory and perceive the moment in real-time I noticed a connection, synchronised creative trance and a bursting of potentiality. Thats when I decided I want to start writing again, and get connected with all this content we are creating.
I feel FREE and just wanted to share THAT. OK?
I used to think I was a freak, growing up in high school I was always a bit of a black sheep but after life and experiences of the past three years and my choice to live outside the conventional and normal boundaries I grew up believing I have come to know we are ALL diverse and unique and thats what is really special, don’t try to fit in, just try to be YOU and the rest will fall into place AUTHENTICALLY.
Wishing my readers a Happy Holidays and look forward to the next instalment!
Maz X
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