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A taxi fare from Tullamarine Airport to Spencer St trains and buses was a week’s pay and Spencer St was now called Southern Cross. Why wasn’t I told?!
I took the bus. It was $12. In Bali it wooda been $1.20..Ah well… Urban Australia has the cleanest dunnies in the world after Switzerland and Luxembourg.
As I waddled down the ramp for the bus to train bit of the Southern Cross Station I was assaulted a wave of people in black. It was 8:37AM and they were going to work. They didn’t see me. They tried to walk right thru me, but I am sort of big and strong and qualified and my luggage was sort of huge and shin-high!! I had learnt some politeness in the Far East and so I walked slower and kept to the far left (I had also been in Honkers where people DIE in pedestrian jams) I watched and counted as nine people crashed into my bags, bruised their shins and knees and grunted and groaned and tried to blame me cos I wasn’t watching where they was going. The bus was packed full of more persons in black so I got me a cab with a fella who didn't know where StKilda was. So I explained it to him...in URDU!
I went home to one of my dozens of cousin’s flats in Elwood where I used to swim in the canal.
We watched TV. Who needs Horror Shows!!?? We had Aussie TV. My beloved and esteemed compatriots insulted each other and went ON and ON about cooking their tucker with ‘celebrity chefs’ and renovating their house with ‘Celebrity Renovaters’ !! Fark me drunk! There was more!.. where to find a lenti and junket vanilla coffee and way too much of how to sing badly! Footballers and priests were getting away with what you would get 8-18 years for in the sixties and my favorite—it was so bad I watched it 3 times to check -- This show even had eight strangers living together in a posh house and filming the days and night's activity. Sort of student housing but neat and with money. Ha ha ha!! These are me people---let me people go! And rent me a videO! Why weren’t me and Wilbur Woilde and the Laffy Brothers and other rock gods and rising ‘students’ in one of these Big Bother houses!!?? We could learn em good.
After 2 weeks of filling in forms I and I was homesick for the Asian smile and the $2.80 gourmet night out. Come on over!! I’ll tour guide ya....... Dizzy Dezzy